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RIFF RAFF
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Number of posts : 45
Age : 46
Location : Australia
Favourite AC/DC member? : Bon Scott
Registration date : 2008-04-01

PostSubject: Jokes thread.   Wed Apr 09, 2008 9:00 am

Well I thought I'd start an official site joke thread. I'll kick it off with a couple;

While enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke
decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone
by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink
and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place.

The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her
flat they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it.

Finally, the spent young bloke rolls over, pulls out a
cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to
find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies.

Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of
matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another
man. Naturally, the bloke begins to worry. "Is this your
husband?" he inquires nervously.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?"

"No, don't be daft," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demands the bewildered bloke.
Calmly, the girl takes a match, strikes it across the side of her
face and replies, "That's me before the operation."
affraid
_____________________________________________________________________

And one for the computer geeks amongst us.

Computer Terminology

486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.

Obsolete - Any computer you own.

Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

G3 - Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."

Syntax Error - Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."

Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.

GUI - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey")

Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

Portable Computer - A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.

System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.



Not the best I know, but they're a start. Now let's here yours.

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Mad Angus
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread.   Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:01 am

Good idea, every forum needs a jokes thread.

A blonde buys a handgun at a local pawn shop because she thinks her husband is
cheating on her. When she gets home, she finds her husband in bed with a woman.
The Blonde grabs the gun out of her purse, loads it and points it at her own
head.

Her husband seeing this starts screaming at her not to
Shoot.

The blonde replies "Shut up stupid! You're next!"
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